Home » Uncategorized » Matt Sorum launches canned dolphin product; changes name to John West.

Matt Sorum launches canned dolphin product; changes name to John West.

Former Guns N Roses drummer Matt Sorum launched a new business venture today – canned dolphin meat. The move comes after a long campaign to save the dolphins by Sorum on twitter, which apparently was actually motivated by his desire to harvest the animals and bring their tender meaty goodness to the masses.

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In a clever move to make his product more child friendly, Sorum has also revealed that each purchase of his canned dolphin meat will also come with a kids plush toy – naturally it being a dolphin.

Image ‘I just love the goofy bastards’ – explained Sorum. ‘Delicious with lemon juice’

Sorum also revealed to editor Mike Hunt that he has changed his name by deed poll to John West, and that all of his dolphin products will carry the John West name.

‘All our products carry the John West name and are dolphin friendly. That’s how we catch them, we make friends with them before we bludgeon them to death in a manner that is safe to all our hunters.’ explained West.

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Here at DTJN we were lucky enough to get a taste of John West’s dolphin before it hits the shelves and we have to say it is so delicious it has become something of a bad obsession. In fact it was so fine it almost left us in a coma. 

 

 

  

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